Personal Post with a Side of Black Holo Skittles

Hey guys, today I've got some stuff I want to share with you. Personal stuff. I hope you'll stick with me through it all. Think of it as a chance to get to know me a little better, but because we obviously all love nails, I've got a fun nail art look to share as well.



Here are my nails! I'll get to the details at the end of this post, but for now I thought I just get to the sharing part.

Part of me feels like I've lost my mojo this month. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I've been trying to get pregnant for a year now with no luck. It's struggle to remain optimistic when you keep confronting failure month in and month out.

On top of that, I have PKU, which I've covered here before here and here. It basically means that on top of this whole trying to get pregnant thing, I have to have a strict and monitored diet where I don't get to eat anything fun (no dairy, meat, bread etc.).

I've just been a little melancholy this month in general, the whole trying to get pregnant thing is a lot of it, but part of it is I feel like I suck at this whole blogging thing a bit.

I'm in a TON of nail groups on Facebook and sometimes it just feels like I am drowning. With my full time day job I can't possibly remain as connected as I'd like to be, and as a result, I sometimes feel lost in the world of nail blogs.

I often envy the people who are great at responses, have a ton of interaction with each other. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have time to comment on all the blogs I read, and I wish I were better at that. Maybe I'd have more interaction of my own.

On top of it all, I'm suffering from dry winter nails, and despite my daily cuticle routine, I just don't feel like my nails measure up some days. Annnnnd I made the mistake of waaaaaay over filing them so I feel like my nubs couldn't possibly make some of this polish look amazing.

So as a result, my posts have been sporadic, and in my own eyes – half-hearted. I guess with everything else going on, nail polish used to be my escape, but with all the melancholy some nights I haven't had the energy to even play. I find myself overwhelmed with all the polish I own and not knowing which direction to go in!

Let's break up this ugliness with some more pretty rainbow sparkle shall we?!?



So life is not all bad. I'm trying to distract myself this month. I sort of feel like I left myself go health wise (not counting the diet stuff) last year, thinking 'hey I'll be pregnant soon enough so what's the point?!'

For Christmas I got a FitBit and I've been having fun doing mini competitions with other people I know who have a FitBit. I'm not being crazy or anything, but setting mini goals for myself and getting super excited when I make them. Also, taking walks on my breaks at work or when I get home is good stress release.

And I've found as a fun treat while I walk, I listen to super engaging podcasts and usually it makes me want to walk even long than I have time for. It feels good, because instead of walking and thinking of all the things I need to do etc. I get lost educating myself on some topic via a podcast, it's all very stress relieving.

Oh and I gave up drinking for a bit. Me and my hubby did to see if it helps in the fertility department. I didn't drink a whole bunch to begin with, so not that big a deal for me, but probably an adjustment for my hubby.

I think it's time for another photo.



So that's it from me in the personal department. I'm still here in the blogging world. Doing it when I can, but also know I'm out in the world, trying to distract myself the best I can. I really want to be engaged more in the nail blogger world, but sometimes I just don't feel cool enough. It's pretty dumb, but sometimes I feel like I lack a good online persona.

If anyone has any tips for making life happy, ways to balance blog and social and not stress, good podcasts, any input whatsoever, I'd love to hear it.

Now let's get to the nails already!!!



Say hello to my super shorties and the ugly skin around my nails. Hardly blog appropriate nails, but I wanted to share this look because it did bring me some happy!

The base of this look is Painted Polish Midnight Mischief, a great black creme one-coater. I used Painted Polish Drunk on Holo to make a fun glitter gradient.



Then I broke out my M Polish To Have and To Holo to stamp from one of my Bundle Monster Shangri-La buffet stamps. I was excited to get this polish finally, but when I did stamp with it I thought that it would be a bit more opaque. Some of the photos of it led me to believe it was just so opaque when stamping over black. To me I don't see much difference between this and my Color Club Halo Hues. Maybe I need to play more, who knows?!

So I do believe I've chatted with you all quite enough now. I hope I haven't scared you off, but it feels good to get some of this off my chest so thank you for listening and for sharing any input you have.

Off topic post: My PKU journey

Hey guys, sorry I didn't do a regular nail post today. Thought it might be an appropriate time to share with you this journey I'm headed down health wise.

I wrote several portions of this post in a post last year, but that was before I met all you fun nail gals. Thought it was time to share some of this with you.

Well I was born with a metabolic called PKU. What is PKU? It is actually short for phenylketonuria (which to this day I still have to look up the spelling for) and in plain English it means I can't have a diet high in protein. I have had it since I was born and every newborn is tested for it when they get their heel prick (which tests for more than 240 metabolic disorders).

Basically the science behind it is that protein is made of 20 amino acids my body cannot break down the amino acid phenylalanine (PHE). What does that mean? If I eat a hamburger will I start seizing on the floor, no. The effects of PKU are a long-term pain in the butt.

Maintaining a strict diet was extremely important when I was growing up and my brain was developing. See, having high PHE levels in my blood levels affects my brain functioning. If I was not treated from birth, I'd be severely mentally retarded today. So thank you science, for figuring this out before I was born so I can function normally from day to day.

This graphic courtesy of PKU.com shows it in very simplistic terms.

Wait a second, you need protein to survive right?! Yes, you do. I get my protein the form of 60 pills a day. Pills that contain the other 19 amino acids my diet lacks. You think 60 pills is bad? When I was growing up I had to drink a formula that was so bad I had to drink it in a thermos with a straw through high school because I would gag at the smell of it.

This is what 20 pills looks like, I do this three times a day.

Eating while having PKU is an exercise in math, making sure you understand the quantities of PHE per item you are about to put in your mouth. Growing up everything was based on  a point system, very similar to Weight Watchers. When I was growing up I was allowed 22 points a day. A banana is 3 points. A large french fry from McDonalds is 13 points. So all real world food (except sugary candy) pretty much has some sort of points attached to it. You literally have to think about everything you put in your mouth and you have to keep track of what you eat.

Now mind you, I had my time off diet. From about college through about the last two years, I had my fun, eating whatever I wanted. Not taking my formula and just rebelling and enjoying food. 

So why am I sharing this? Well my husband and I have decided it's time to try and have children. Having children with PKU is a whole new journey in self discipline. My diet now is even stricter than it was when I was growing up. I was allowed 22 points then, now I'm allowed all of 10. 

In order to reach such a low food target, I have been eating a lot of low protein foods. Low protein foods are engineered without the amino acid I can't have, and try their best to be similar to the real world equivalent. I eat a lot of low protein pasta and rice. 

I also have to track what I am eating and measure every grain of food I eat. I use the measuring scale daily! I've had to replace normal foods I used to eat like potato chips, with their low protein equivalent like taro chips instead. I have to account daily for the amount of food I eat, the amount of PHE each item has and how many calories are in each item. Here is an idea of what that looks like:

10/15/2014	Amount	PHE	Calories
Rice Chex	3/4 cup/ 20g	67	74
five sugar cubes (with tea)	five cubes	0	75
Cherry Dr. Pepper	1 can	0	160
Taro chips	37g	30	212
Apple	medium	11	95
2 low pro cookies	2 squares	0	216
Lo Profin Macaroni	97g	12	352
Fresh Mushroom Prego	81g	35	44
TOTALS		155	1,228

I have to take my blood level weekly, just in preparation of having a kid, to make sure I make my body baby-ready. I started this strict pre-conception diet as soon as I got back from Europe at the end of August. My blood levels have been steady where my doctors would like them, so hopefully we can get the green light from the doctor to start trying to have a child in January. 

Anyway, so when I say life is busy, I don't just mean with work. I mean with juggling with preparation for having a child, my diet, health and stuff in general. Basically I just wanted to bare a little of my soul with you all so you could all get to know me just a little better. If you made it this far, thanks for reading!!!